Hospitality...How It Should Be

My cultural/ethnic background is Armenian. One of the things that Armenians are known for is their hospitality. In my culture, guests are treated like VIP’s. We do everything we can to make our guests feel as comfortable as ever and encourage them to feel like they are in their own home. It is also our custom to give presents to our guests. For example, when one of our guests is a child or a newlywed, we always give them presents when they leave. In addition, if it was/will be our guest’s birthday in the near past/future, they will also receive a present from the hosts. Another custom is we do not go to somebody’s house empty handed (unless we are close friends and we see each other very often). Even when I have a sleepover at my Armenian friend’s house, they give me something nice when I leave. There is one rule that shall never be broken in my culture; You Do Not Let Your Guest Leave Your House Hungry. Armenian culture is very much about being generous and hospitable. We share whatever we have and we help however we can.

Having this cultural background, makes it easier for me to understand what the Bible says about sharing what you have with your fellow Christians and helping people with whatever you can. I personally pray that God will help me see the needs of others. I hope to be a person that offers help before anybody asks for it. When someone asks my help, and I am not equipped to help, I do my very best to find a person who can help. I don’t just hear them out, smile and say “well, good luck with that” (that actually did happen to me recently!). If somebody doesn't have enough money for food, and you do, well don’t just pray for them, invite them over for a dinner and when they leave, give them some money! If someone in your Christian family is walking around stressed out because they don’t have a place to stay, and you do have a house, well then offer them a room (or just the couch!) and help them find a room! I've read somewhere in the New Testament, that there was a church where Christians sold all of their belongings to provide for each other, and no one was in need. I am not telling you to go and sell your stuff; I’m just saying use your “stuff” to help others as much as you can. God gave you a house, a car and food for a reason, and You are not the Only reason. Share, give, help! We pray that God would bless us big, abundantly, beyond our imagination. Well, shouldn't this prayer give us an indication of how we should bless others? We as Christian do want to be more like Jesus and have His characteristics, right? Well, if you ask Jesus to bless you abundantly, and you want to grow more into the likeness of Jesus, shouldn't you also try to bless others abundantly? God uses people to bless people, and I want to be the kind of person who is fully available to bless people big time! I believe the more I am willing to help and bless people, the more resources God will give me to bless others.

I have the feeling that, usually, people are willing to help, whenever it suits them. One will help, as long as it won’t cost them money, sleep or anything else “important”. If I’m going to be a person who helps others whenever it suits me, then what makes me different from others? I think that one of the things that should make me, a Christian, different from others, is how much I am willing to serve others. If someone needs help, whether we are friends or not, I want to be the person who goes the extra mile and shows love to the person in distress and brings some peace into the situation. I hope this encourages you to think more about your serving heart.

Man Up and Ask the Lady Out!

I often see Christian singles who want to be in a relationship, but are not, while we are made to be in a relationship! After some observation and talking to Christian singles, I have finally decided to write a blog about it.

I am going to start by pointing out two situations that may occur in a church.

(1) Relationships between singles in a church become so friendly, that the singles start seeing each other just as sisters or brothers, and it becomes awkward to initiate something and express your “romantic” feelings. Let me break it down to you this way. I am a single woman, and if you are a single man, there is a chance that I see you not only as my brother, but also as a potential future husband!

(2) There is not much of a relationship between singles in a church, because, one is afraid of sending out the wrong message. You think that if you ask a girl out for a cup of coffee, she might think that you are "planning to marry her". Therefore, singles end up behaving awkwardly towards each other in church. Let me shed some light on this situation. We, women, do Not start planning our wedding whenever a man asks us out. If you ask me out for a cup of coffee, lunch, dinner or a whole day out, that does not mean that I will end up marrying you or expect you to have a relationship with me. Don't flatter yourself; it takes A Lot more than a (very classy) dinner or a day out to make me want to marry you, Ever. However, it could be a nice starter…
There are a few stories in the Bible where a man decides  that it is time for him to have a wife, so he takes the initiative and goes out to find himself a wife, often traveling long distances. Nowadays, single men don't even need to travel anywhere to find themselves a wife, there are plenty of good Christian women right in their church. Open Your Eyes and Look Around!
From a young age, we Christian females, are taught that the man is the initiator and the pursuer. So what do we do? We wait until the man (finally) takes the first step. What happens often is we wait, and we wait, and we wait. Eventually, we end up giving the guy a hint, aiming to let him know that we want to be more than "just friends". This often wakes the guy up a little and he Finally attempts to ask the girl out. This is just disappointing, because it shows us that men are often not the pursuers and the initiators as we hoped them to be. Men are often insecure and also wait and wait and wait for a hint from the female or hoping that God will open up the heavens and let the girl of their dreams descend right into their lives.
Men, what is the worst thing that can happen if you approach the lady? She says no. So what? The worst thing that can happen to a person is if one dies without having known and being known by Jesus. Now that's messed up! If you compare that with a “no” from a girl, then “rejection” does not seem so bad, does it? Asking a girl out is not a matter of life or death, do not exaggerate. Yes, we are all afraid of rejection, and that is often the reason why men do not initiate anything with the women they like, but instead choose to wait for a hint. It is the safer way, isn't it? You do not need to have courage or show strong male character if you have a hint from the girl that she likes you too. 

90% of the time, I do not feel attracted to Any man. However, I believe that quite a few men could have made  me fall in love with them, if they would have asked me out and shown some effort. Pursuing does not mean you wait for a hint from a girl. It means, you see, you like, and you conquer! Educate yourself and learn how to pursue a woman. Study the woman, know her likes and dislikes. Find ways to make her smile. Read Christians books on relationships, ask advice from older couples who know a thing or two about relationships. Put some effort into it! Do not just spend your life wondering, what could have happened if you did this or that. After all, you do not want to see the girl you like ending up with another man, just because you did not have the courage to simply ask her out. Have some courage and ask the girl out! If you like a Godly woman and you express that to her, she will Not mercilessly bring you down! We, women, understand that men may feel pressured or insecure, but it does not mean you should act on it! A Christian woman wants a man to take initiative, show strong character, and pursue her respectfully. We do not expect men to act perfect or to say all the right things. Nevertheless, we do appreciate the effort that a man makes to make us feel that we are worth pursuing and loving. 

The ‘After Graduation’ Mood

Dear me,

As I am writing my dissertation to complete my master’s degree in international human rights law, I cannot stop thinking about the future. You know…the life after graduation! Questions like ‘where am I going to live?’ and ‘what am I going to do?’ are running through my mind. 

In the period of one month, I have applied for so many (paid) internships and jobs, and contacted so many organizations, that I have lost the count. Sometimes I receive emails from organizations that I have completely forgotten! (Then I need to Google the organizations to remember why I emailed them!)

At moments like this, I appreciate extra much that I know the CEO of everything, the One who holds my future, the Comforter. God will give me everything I need at the perfect time so that I will acknowledge the fact that I got it all from Him. After all, He did not bring me this far, to just leave me hanging here! He will continue the good work He has started in me. I just need to have faith in God’s power.

This whole experience puts things into perspective. What is important? It is important to grow as a person into the likeness of Christ and acquire His characteristics. That needs to be my focus, and I should not be distracted from it. What I do now when I tend to fall into the ‘panic mood’, is being still and breathing! Exhale in and out, put things into perspective and focus on God’s love and provision for me.

Of course is applying for jobs the right thing to do after graduation. However, I should not get carried away with it, and start being all over the place and stressing out! I need to stay focused, apply for the jobs that I like and wait. Yes, I said Wait! While I am waiting, I should expect good things to happen to me and expect to be favored!

So relax, continue writing your dissertation, remember that God is in control and expect to be blessed beyond your expectations!

From me to me, and to other graduates who are in a similar situation.

Thoughts Running Through My Mind Lately

Once again God showed me that He has a sense of humor too! In my prayers, I told Him that I don’t understand hints, so He should tell me straightforward what He wants me to do in my life. Last week, someone had a prophecy for me (a message from God). I was told that I should not worry about what I’m going do next in my life, but that God will PUSH me to the right direction, that sounds like a straightforward answer to me!

In addition, as I was listing all the areas of my life that I have submitted to God's will, I prayed that if there is any other area in my life that I haven't submitted to God, He should tell me, so that I can submit that too. Before I could finish the sentence, God told me "your mouth''. Wow, that was quick! I understood that Knowing God's will, is not the same as Doing God's will. You may well Know that you should think before you speak and don't let anything negative come out of your mouth, but actually doing so, are two different things! You may well Know about God's will that is revealed in the Bible, but do you actually Do what the Bible says? Did you submit All the areas of your life to God? It's time that I really transform that little weapon of mass destruction (the mouth) into a weapon of mass blessings!

After reading the Bible and listening to many teachings, I came to the conclusion that the most important thing is to love God and to know God (not just know about Him, but to actually really Know Him on a personal level). Everything else will fall into place once you start focusing on getting to know God better through His Word (that’s the Bible), prayer and teachings (sermons, Christian books).

When I was little, I didn't think much about what I want to Do in my life, I thought about how I want to be when I grow up (kind, smart and beautiful: Okay, I confess, sometimes I also wanted to be a Barbie). Obviously, after getting to know who Jesus is, I want to be like Him (and that's a whole lot more than just being kind, smart and beautiful), because quite frankly, I’ve never met anyone or heard about anyone else who is more perfectly loving, humble, compassionate, friendly and wise than He is. 

What Are Your Motives?

Do you ever think about why you do the things you do and why you behave the way you do towards people? Are you being nice to people because you want them to be nice in response, to get thank you’s and compliments or  for people to think nice of you? 

I always ask God to correct my motives. It’s just something that is important to me; whatever I do, I want do it with the right motives and from a pure heart. There have been several situations in my life, which made me think about the motives behind my actions. Do I treat people well to get a positive response/appreciation from them, or because the God that I love and respect wants me to be friendly and loving towards everybody? 

It’s very easy to be nice to people who appreciate/acknowledge what you do and thank you. However, when someone doesn’t even understand you being nice to them or appreciate your efforts to be kind, and in return  mistreats you, then it becomes extremely demotivating to act lovingly towards that person! But don't give up on being the person that God created you to be: friendly, patient, loving and caring (and other good characteristics!). Whenever you're facing difficult times, you are building your character.

I learned that the way I treat people (my attitude towards people) should not depend on how they treat me, how they make me feel or what they think of me, it should depend on how God wants me to treat people and how He wants me to be (because God Always wants the best for me!). Jesus says "treat others the way you want to be treated". Have you ever thought about how you want to be treated and how you treat other people? I know that I can’t treat everybody lovingly in my own strength; my love is simply not enough. Therefore, I ask God to give me everything I need (love, patience, compassion etc.) and to teach me how to love people His way. Why? Because I love God and I want to please Him, and because my reward comes from God, and not from people. In addition, this way of thinking/acting, is not only benefitting me, but also the people around me. Next time when someone mistreats you and hurts your feelings, don't act the way your feelings want you to, but be kind on purpose! Know that you are serving God, not people, and God blesses the ones that follow Him (have faith in Him and do His will) according to His riches and not our limited imagination.

Good Things Do Happen in this World!

Ever since I started studying human rights law, I have people in my FB ''friend list" who also study human rights law or work in the field of human rights. Because of that, I've been seeing so many depressing messages about human rights violations posted on FB walls. I'm tired of seeing horrible things every time I click to update the FB page; “girl tortured in Afghanistan”, “child-marriages in Yemen”, “people dying in Libya”, "Nuclear weapons of Iran". Even the news is full of horror; well that brightens your day in the morning! 

There are also good and beautiful things happening in the world! God created so many beautiful things for us to see and to enjoy and He also works through people to bring healing into the lives of others.There are people who do good things, who don't violate "human rights". Why don't we pay attention to that a little more often? Why do people constantly try to show us all that is wrong with the world, and almost nothing about what good is happening in the world? You don't see anyone posting on their wall "there are more children being saved because of the works of Joyce Meyer Ministries in India'' or "New Hope Foundation helps to bring healing into the lives of many abused women, therefore more and more women are living healthy and happy lives". All of these good things do happen in this world, today! Let us not be blind to people in need or be ignorant to the issues of the world, but let us also give some credit to people who do good and be more aware of good things happening in the world too! Let's be more aware of the positive! Let some light shine in this darkness!